We have a heartbeat

so now, at 8 weeks and 6 days, I am feeling more optimistic. Only slightly mind you, I'm still terrified I'm going to do something to end this, but for now, we're OK.

Part of the thing that scares me is that last year, right after we had our ultrasound at 9 weeks, the baby died. I started to spontaneously miscarry the next week, and found out that literally, the day after the scan, the little heart had stopped beating. That sucked.

It also, effectively, ended any positive feelings i had about seeing a heartbeat and going on to have a successful pregnancy. Because something like 80% of pregnancies are fine after the heartbeat has been seen between 6 - 10 weeks, and again, our statistics sucked, and we lost our baby.

I'm still taking it easy. Lots of lying around on the couch, and trying to stress about stuff.

So, just felt like updating on the pregnancy, but since its still a secret.... SHHHH!